I don’t know the secret of success because it depends on how you define success. Is having lots of money your definition? Then build a big business, win the lottery, get a big inheritance. Is having power your definition? Then run for political office, work your way to the president of a company, or start your own company. Being one with nature? Go off grid, live in the mountains and run naked through fields.
My definition of success is to be happy. Which sounds simple but is actually complicated. The first step towards being happy is to define what makes you happy. This seems to be so hard for most people to figure out. Do I want money, or the security that comes with having money? Do I want power, or do I want to just not feel worthless? Do I want to be one with nature, or do I like indoor plumbing? If I’m not happy at all times does that mean I’m failing?
I choose to be happy more often than not happy. What works for me is to *try* to focus on the wins. I got somewhere on time, that shirt looks nice on me today, I was nice to someone and made them feel happy. There’s hundreds of little wins all throughout the day if you look for them. I know they always say “happiness is a mindset” but I feel like no one ever tells you how exactly to get there and I’m a directions kind of person. I need the step by step playbook on how to do something. So just saying “mindset” doesn’t work for me.
The key is to actually look for them. If it helps, write them down. I started with writing down three things that I liked during the day. Just three. Even on the awful days where it felt like everything went wrong I could find three little things. Maybe it was just that my car didn’t break down or I found both of the shoes I wanted to wear today.
So what’s the secret of success? That there isn’t one.
“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fail.”
—Confucius
Look for opportunities to lift others up along the way. Having the proper mindset, moving outside your comfort zone, developing and maintaining healthy relationships, and staying focused have been key drivers of success for thousands of years.
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